When one "hears" God

My first born asked me the other day: "Mommy, how do you talk with God? I mean, not just praying, but you know, how does He talk back to you?" I suddenly was reminded of that talk tonight as I stare at the screen. I think I mumbled something about it not necessarily being an audible voice, though I reckon it is so to somebody, and that it is different from people to people but that it always agrees with the Scripture. "In my case," I told him, "He knows my language and how I understand. He speaks directly to my heart. I hear no voice. I just digest the meanings straight away."

I'm really moved today by how God has spoken to me today. Lately I've been in this indescribable mood. It started since I went to a birthday party of an acquaintance who doesn't know the Lord. You can say that she is walking in a very wrong direction, and I've been praying for her since I've known her. The party was a great one, don't get me wrong. But, to describe what I was feeling, all I can say is muddled and unclear. I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt ineffective in my prayer, even though I had started reading 3 Psalms a day following a suggestion (and much to my dismay as I linked this I realized that it is 5 psalms a day to finish the book in a month. Oh well. I'll go on until I finish and start again!) which always helps to get your heart in order and sort out yucky feelings. Because of reading the Psalms, I could cry out with David (or other psalmist): "help God!"

Part of the answer to my "help!" came when I was reading a blog where she was sharing her testimony. That was the first clue. I heard it, too. "Which words about ME are you believing?"

So, I went over to the Japanese Prayer group which I've been missing for a couple of weeks. We read 2 Chronicles chapter 20. I was taken by how Jehoshaphat (a mouthful, isn't he?) turns to the Lord and seeks Him utterly. He confesses his need for God in front of all assembled and leads His nation by example to seek the Lord. It was powerful to me to realize he also prays Scripture, and holds up His promise when He confesses his utter confusion and powerlessness. This is what he says:

We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you

The Lord answers his honest cry then with this in verses 15-17:

Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.

Jehoshaphat and the congregated people of Judah elect those to go before their army to praise His name. The Scripture goes on to report that while they started singing aloud, the enemy virtually destroyed itself in confusion. Not only that, it took Judah whole three days to take all the plunder.

In this I see my God who answers the earnest and meets the one who calls on Him; who provides a way where there seems no way at all. This foreshadows our state, too. Our young Japanese pastor pointed this out. We were desperate with no way out. Countless people earnestly called out to Him for Salvation, and He provided His Son to make the way.

Because I had missed about two chapters worth of learning together, while it was time for individual meditation, I read the earlier chapters, too. Then this portion jumped out:

Should you help the wicked and love those who hate the LORD? Because of this, the wrath of the LORD is upon you. There is, however, some good in you, for you have rid the land of the Asherah poles and have set your heart on seeking God. 2 Chronicles 19:2b-3

This is the word of the prophet to Jehoshaphat after he had made alliance with Ahaz king of Israel who was NOT following and even seeking God. Now we are living after Jesus who said "Love your enemies. Pray for your enemies."

I recently finished reading a George MacDonald book called The Shepherd's Castle, originally published as Donal Grant and retold in this Bethany Edition by Michael Philips. The story is strong and keeps you reading, and it has a surprise ending where this "love thy enemy" is really put into practice. It really took me by surprise, and I had to wrestle with my feeling of wanting to see a quick justice (which I attribute it to our instant gratification movies and dramas we abundantly see) and yield to God's idea of justice where the Evil one loses and the vessel he abused gets delivered.

Come to think of it, this is how we put "the battle is the Lord's" into practice: by loving the sinner and hating the sin.

I'm not sure if you can follow my logic, but all these pieces came together to me tonight. I absolutely love it when this happens! He spoke to my heart: "Be sure of what it is I say. Keep your eyes on ME. Leave the rest to ME."

I was fretting, unbeknownst to me, and running way ahead and being where I was not required to be. I imagined a lot about being confronted by this acquaintance about where I stand. Would she believe me when I tell her I love her even though I hate her lifestyle? Would she know that it is especially because I love her that I won't join her political cause? (You see, I found out that she was quite active politically at that party, too.) But the Lord is saying "it is not time yet. You aren't there. You're here and your job is to love her. It may have been a surprise to you, but I've known her from forever and have loved her with an everlasting love. Don't let your love for her turn into a mere sympathy nor let your love for Me diminish as in competition. Remember I'm at work in her. It is My battle. Join Me, but you don't have to fight for Me. Just agree with Me. Stand your position!"

Indeed, He only asks us to stand firm. Oh, how hard it is! Yet we try to do more all the time. How so utterly relieving to know that my Maker knows my fickle heart, and guides this wondering foolish sheep as the perfect Shepherd would through a foggy treturous terrain! Therefore, stand I shall.