The Allure of Sameness

Something I noticed recently is that there is comfort in "sameness."

I wonder when this happened?
I recall as a child really enjoying every new thing and change that I observed, yet from some unknown time I started to relish 'commonalities' and 'same-o-same-o.'


Today, my son asked me "Why can't I not be 'normal' like the other kids?"
This took me by surprise.
I remembered my heart yelling the same thing while I was growing up in Japan. Back then, that 'normal' meant being 'simply Japanese and nothing else.'

But this is not Japan! And this is coming from my son!

So I asked him: "What do you mean? What do you mean by 'normal'? What is 'normal' to you?" His answer revealed his struggle with having to go to an after-school-school: the Japanese school. Hmm.

It appears that in the growing changes chaos around him, he is trying really hard to hold on to what is most comfortable: his friends. None of his circle of friends go to an extra school for their extra language. In fact none of them have extra language kind of heritage being that mainly all English speaking even though most of them have mixed heritage. So he doesn't see that "we're all different."


About a month ago, I have listened to a speaker share her testimony that touched very sensitive subject. Because she surrounds herself in quite a small circle of like-minded people, although she was very sincere, her message caused fair bit of stir in the listening audience. I got the impression that she had forgotten how to speak clearly to people that don't necessarily believe things exactly as she does.

There is such a draw to just associate with people like 'us' when you're walking life with a certain conviction whether that be faith, choice of education, politics, etc. This, I think, is even more magnified when you're going against the status quo. Every group has their lingo, and while there's comfort in that, we become dulled or lazy about communicating clearly to the people who do not speak our lingo. This I believe is the slippery slope to the ineffective Christian witness.

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.
- Nelson Mandela

Because our Greatest Commission is to communicate the gospel to the ends of the Earth, I'd say 'communication' is the #1 priority. Yet we are very lazy to form our 'sayings' in a comprehensive way for the hearer.

As you can see in the diagram, more forms we have (i.e. visual aid, gestures, voice, tones, language, etc) the better chances of communicating the right content to the receiver. Increasingly in the electronic age, we're becoming single-method communication whether it be email or texting where it is void of tones and gestures. This I think is making it more imperative that we say what we really mean. but I digress. (The article on "communication" on Wikipedia is very interesting, and I highly recommend it. Link from above.)

It got me thinking of how this direction to sameness is so human. The antithesis to this of course is God's way: diversity. When we look around, every single person is unique. Yet, as humans we don't find that comforting. We strive to look for the sameness or commonality so we're not 'alone.' This reminded me of another quote it used to somewhat puzzle me:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson (this is the original source!)

This used to sound really bad to my ears. It sounded awfully gloating, yet not quite so. It also rang a faint tone of truth, yet I couldn't grasp it.

We're not comfortable being 'us' by ourselves.
...Ok, that sounds weird. Let's try this way: I am not comfortable being simply 'me' all on my own. My guess is that most of us are in the same place. The only place I have come to feel comfortable being simply 'me' is in relation to my Saviour Jesus Christ, because He covers me. All the ugly parts of it is washed out and I don't need to be afraid. After all He is my light.

I think children instinctively know this because they have a trust relationship. As children grow older, they all learn to mis-trust, and their trusting hearts are eroded by all the hurts that come their way. More we learn, we grow afraid.

In light of this, I can finally understand the quote. It all boils down to 'trust' in the Sovereign God and His ultimate intention, His all-loving nature and plan.

Knowing Him makes all the difference in how I view the world and how I view myself. Psalm 46 was what I read recently with my aforementioned son:

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

When I read this, I can confess the same with the psalmist because I have seen Him be my refuge and strength and every present help in time of trouble time and time again.

And I rejoice that my body is the temple where His Spirit dwells, and the river of life doesn't run dry.

With all the economic turmoil they keep talking about in the news, I don't dismay, because He is with me. No matter what happens around me, to me, I know He is Sovereign and I am safe in Him for I am not just a 'body' which will cease to exist but an eternal creature with soul He saved (which cost Him all - namely Himself).

I look all over the Earth, high up to the starry heavens and low into the minute micro-detail of our world. I see His hands, His designs, splendor of diversity complex yet functioning well. (How much more perfectly would it be if the world wasn't fallen!)

I see His intent is "Peace" because He will make wars cease and breaks bows. He must so hate all this fighting.

This brings me to conclude that His Ways are so perfect because it is all governed by Love Himself. We, who lack love and need love and crave love, complicate all manners of things coming our way. Including communication. We fret, we whine, we worry... acting as though He isn't there.

Well, whether we acknowledge Him or not, He is.

When we cease from all activities but to be still and 'know' Him, we come to harmony... to trust.

All of this, I have shared with my son a few mornings ago. How much of that remains in him is yet to be seen.


So, going back to that speaker... God is All in All. Hallelujah!

What I perceived a 'disaster' and potential harm to the larger group of people, God in His Wisdom and Might has turned into something beautiful. People are talking together, praying, learning, searching. As a result of this event, every group has grown closer to each other. This, in spite of the speaker's short comings, was accomplished because of the speaker's obedience. When I think of this, I just praise God in awe, and it really gives me a hope. He isn't going to ruin His reputation on any of His children. Then, I'm safe, too! What a good news it is that all He requires is our obedience, and not a perfect performance 100% of the time.

Going back to my son... He is learning. He needs to find out for himself who God is to him and who he is in Him. I didn't arrive to appreciate my heritage from the get go, and neither I will expect him to appreciate it already. It is a hard lesson, because it involves admitting that 'I' am not all sufficient, 'I' lack. So I'm praying that he will resist the allure of the Sameness and seek the Maker of the Universe. Because He is the only one that can give him sufficiency that he seeks.