To be in the midst of languages has been my world since the get go, but lately I've discovered another dimension within a language. I'd like to think I'm still growing on the inside ;o) and that this is one of the "a-ha" moments. I'm not talking about insinuations or colloquialisms but how we communicate. There is intention which gives birth to the words, then the actual choice of words that the speaker uses and then the actual impact by the listener. I've noticed that at the time of intention, if the focus is on how to best describe what we intend to say, instead of how best to be understood/heard, at the time of impact the words can become a lethal weapon at the worst or a dull weapon that stunts at the least.
It often happens in the Christian circles where we intend to do good, but we are just darn too busy trying to do good, than to stop and pray to seek the Lord's direction in how we respond. In other words we are too busy doing and not being the follower. My sister in law sent me this clip that illustrates this. (Sorry I couldn't figure out how to embed this onto my blog.)
We make fun of this, but really it is just SO hard not to fall into this pit. Partially because we care and want to help. Partially because we are so helplessly sinfully self-centered. Somehow between this two it gets all mangled. I'm one of those Rhino-type impulsive person (who positively could be labeled "spontaneous" and "exciting"), but I see that for years I've been trapped in just knowing that I meant well. Then something shifted in me to understand that if I truly want to be helpful and truly cared how I will impact the other, saying things rarely did any help. You can say that I'm very affected by my sweetie in this way, but the vision of me twenty years from now that sticks her foot into her mouth less frequently than I have done so far is a very attractive one. I'd like to see some of this come true when I hit 40!
Tell you the truth, I started this thread and rewrote it a couple of times as I was beginning to be able to put this discovery into words. Personally, I find it frustrating not to be able to express what is going on inside. Some people, like my sweetie, can formulate and sort out all the nebulous feelings without speaking out loud or put them into some form. I'm one of those people that cannot sort things out without a sound board. When I learnt this about myself, I found out that journaling really helps. As a side effect, too, I became more patient with people like me. We tend to talk your ear off, you see. We could be a little hard to be with.
Initially, blogging was supposed to help me with sorting things out and sometimes I posted things pretty hastily. Now I'm realizing that I need to consider the readers and how what I'm saying could impact them. Wow, eh? Pretty heavy stuff. I wonder how many bloggers out there are consciously aware of what their words do.
Another strand that I had going had to do with the difficulty in communicating properly on cyberspace. I tend to type as I speak, but some nuances don't carry in a email or on facebook posts, ya know? How does an English as not-a-primal language person supposed to do this without any misunderstanding??? *sigh* I understand that it is part of growth to let go of misunderstandings, yet I'm still not good at it. Is it only me that wishes to be there with Moses and say, "Yes Lord, move my tongue! I'm not so good with it!" (Can you guess that I identify with Mo a lot?)
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