Undeniably real

We all know that we will die one day, and every one of us do sooner or later. But it isn't something most of us think first thing in the morning or in the middle of the day. Days passes with the same mundane regularity and we all take it for granted. It is when we perceive the stench of looming death and/or face a sudden death around us that our reverie of "living" bubble gets popped and we have to face the uncomfortable reality of our destination in this life: death.

I must apologize for the heaviness of today's blog, but my heart is heavy with my kitty's declining health. She is not a young thing and she is my pet. The most incredibly interesting feline I have ever owned. She stares at you with a couple of blue crystal eyes of siamese while the rest of her has tabby gray stripes where siamese would have brown spots. She's gorgeous. She's a talker and always acted more like a dog than my dog ever did. She came to me whenever I called whereas my dog will stare me back saying "what?" The role reversal of these two animals had always brought smile on our faces, and in the Christmas of 2006, we had said good-bye to our beloved canine. 2007 we said good bye to our budgie, and now it seems we will be saying good bye to our cat.

Someone had said (I wish I could remember who it was!) that we are uncomfortable with "death" because we weren't supposed to have it. We were meant for eternity. I agree. Until the fall of men, I know that animals didn't have to die either. Oh, the stench of it all.

I am not miserable about it, but hate it. Even though I take comfort in the fact that being animals, it isn't the same like us humans for them, I don't like the temporary good bye. Grieving is accumulative, and I know the loss of my father-in-law last summer and all other beloved people I already saw off, I am grieving anew. So I try and be "here" and decide to let some schedules slag instead of forging ahead with my half present heart.

Beth Moore in her study "Jesus, One and Only" (which I'm currently going through with the Bible study group) talks about how "time" as it passes by is a tool of the Father above. We think of the passing of time, and time gone by, but she asserts that time comes and becomes full. Big concept. But I like that. Instead of escaping our grip, time is something that comes to fruition in the expert hand of the Father who is in control. I take great comfort in that.

As my feline's time comes, I want no regrets. I want to be with her and enjoy her 'til the very end.